Pinky stuff is back. 46K+ views, not a clue why. None of my other stuff does that. Well, my first Pinky blog on blogger rocked pretty hard, but once I did the Illuminati logo post, *bam* stats turned into a nightmare. I tried everything, even changed blogs twice, and it followed me the second I verified this blog as a property with Google. Google is evil. Anyway, that doesn't happen on Myke's server that I can see, so I'll just put the good stuff over there where the views still seem to be organic.
I haven't done a start of the year assessment yet. @bonenado is jealous that my glucose hovers in the 90s and my fasting this morning was 110 without meds. His doctor recently doubled his metformin because his glucose is staying up in the 140s. Count your carbs, people. Hydrate with water and not sweet drinks, up your proteins, leafy greens, and cruciferous, and move around more. Get some proper stretching. I also do NOT drink or smoke. Before anyone blows it off as a fluke and my diabetes isn't that bad, I'm still healing from years of documented nearly complete immobility and severe brain fog. It's a little complicated, but getting my diabetes under control with diet changes was urgently crucial in order to work on the rest of the stuff going on with me. You cannot heal quickly or well while your body is chugging through the slush of higher glucose levels. I stay away from meds that spike glucose levels, even if they manage pain well. There are many ways to manage pain.
Over the last 14 months I have successfully healed from 3 surgeries, and I'm still healing. Anything invasive takes time. Cells have to clean out the junk piled up from inflammation and rebuild tissues and that doesn't happen overnight, and doesn't happen very well at all with sticky blood that can't properly deliver supplies and carry away the trash.
I wrote these when I was first learning how to live better with diabetes. It was how I first started figuring my stuff out. Hope it helps if you are having problems.
Holidays with Diabetes- Easier than you think
Diabetes and Steroid Meds
So 5 years later, I'm doing remarkably well. My doctors are all very happy with me, even though I'm still muddling through more challenges with arthritis developing and the ongoing fibrotic scarring all over my body from my fibromyalgia. I'm doing so much better than I was ten years ago!!!
Part of the assessment includes braining. I've had a difficult climb out of a hard crash onto the metaphorical rocks with cognitive function that has included space and time disorientation, short term memory problems, overcoming dyslexia that showed up after the crash, real time communication processing, I could go on. The fail was pretty real, to the point of not driving for 4 months, not watching television for a couple of years, not being able to read for longer than that, not being able to remember phone numbers literally as they were told to me while I was dialing... Feeling like I was going crazy was the hardest part. The anxiety was off the wall, and many times people had to talk me home on the phone while I was driving. I went through a phase where posting pictures I took while driving and loading them to facebook was the only way I could get out of the house and go anywhere. I put together a team of medical professionals on my own and worked on short and long term goals for years. Much of this is documented across blogs since 2008.
It takes time.
You want to feel better ten years from now? Get started. Want to be more able? Start by wanting it so much that you believe you can do this. I used to whisper "I can do this" to myself while I cried in the car driving myself to another appointment in the most incredible pain and anxiety. I can do this.
How do you even do this?
- Assess your situation. Take note of what bothers you, and what you'd like to change about it.
- Make a plan about how to start making changes little by little. Big changes don't work well. Tiny changes are easier to get used to. Many tiny changes over time add up to huge changes when you look back later.
- Figure out what you need to do to make that plan work. Medical assessment? Example- Notice that doctors specialize and that you can ask to see them and request physical therapies, etc. Med changes? Example- Many people want pills to fix what they won't work for. Addiction problems? Example- addictions eat up money and stall healing. Priorities? Example- Choosing to spend money on things that actually make life harder. Take some time thinking that out.
- Get others involved in helping you monitor. They aren't your boss, they aren't there to judge, but they are there to care. Once in awhile we all need to talk about where we are in our lives, and where we hope to be before it's over.
- Set goals. I originally set 3, 6, and 12 month goals and also 1,3, and 5 year goals. I have zoomed right past some of my goals like I never imagined, while others feel like fail. Overall, I'll take what I can get, and my life is definitely better for making this effort. All progress is good, no matter how slow. Not all halted progress is bad. Each time you notice you're not on track, stop and reassess, and if needed, rewrite the plan and goals from what progress you've made so far.
- Keep track. It's very crucial that you notice you are succeeding even if it's tiny small stuff. When life is dismal and stuff is hard, making progress is a real accomplishment.
True story, because I've been there. I know that blackness. I know how hard it is to say "I'm going to comb my hair every day" and then actually do it. I know how hard it is to add something else to that, like "I'm going to make my bed every day". I started out so tiny that just getting out of bed and barely taking care of myself (food and water) was a huge deal. Pain and depression are a bitch, and there were many days I wimped out. But I reminded myself I want something. And then I reminded myself that I can start again tomorrow and went to bed without guilt. No guilt, guys. No beating yourselves up. We are on a prison planet, a weeping world, and we are heroes for coming here and living through our awful lives so we can do miraculous things for others trapped in the dark. I feel like we are very powerful beings that had to sneak into the battlefield, and part of the operation means forgetting who we were so we can truly sink to the dregs and pick the others up. We are here on a mission.
It's time to start remembering. There's so much more than this drudgery.
Some of you think I'm this crazy research hound following all the wrong conspiracies, and you either keep reading because it's weird and you like weird, or you are worried about me and check in. Some of you quietly hope I'm right. Some of you dream of a world that isn't this. You want to hope, but it's all sucked so long that you're afraid hope letting you down will be more than you can take. I've been there. But we are here together, aren't we? You and I are having thoughts together, and if you think about that at all, that's about as miraculous as it gets. I physically have to type this out, I 'send' it to some invisible process that is literally continually zipping signals and waves through our bodies and we can't even see or feel them, and you had to get on a device and click something to decrypt my thoughts and see them. And my thoughts went through your eyes into your brain. I didn't leave my house. I didn't have to spend extra money. I wanted to share hope, and I did, even though everything about this weirdness feels bogus and unreal and makes me want to curl up in a ball and hide because if you think about it, a million other brains could be reading this, as well.
We are powerful. We choose to come here so we can reach down into the dark and pick up the ones who can't pick themselves up. We live in two worlds at the same time. The drudge world is all around us, but the world in our brains... what if it's real?
I may have trouble moving around in the drudge, and I may get bogged down in it, but if I stick to my plan to have a better life, I can move around in the world in my head much better. And it seems that might be the most important part.
A question before I go today- What if we do decide there is more than this because we want it? What then?
NSFW. What if what this does to our brains is what we can do to the world... What if we could all wake each other up? Leap beyond the physical, and remember. 💜
