-Mobile continuation from Xanga blog PinkyGuerrero at PinkyGuerrero, Pinky, this blog is Janika, ongoing continuation at blogs Basically Clueless & PinkFeldspar, in that order.
-Most of the graphics and vids click to sources.
-Personal blog for Janika Banks.
 photo README2.gif



Sunday, April 21, 2019


This month's bullet point so far.
  • We have a goldfish now. Actually had two but Dippy bit the dust. Goldie seems to be pretty hardy.

  • Scratch that. Time passed, 3 fish have died, we've moved on to hermit crabs.

  • Powering through a sprained thumb is a big mistake. Don't do it.

  • Kiddo and I got a ton of flower seeds planted in little peat pellets. Will be fun to see how many of those make it.

  • All of them. They all made it. Now we are wondering where to plant all 200+ baby flower sprouts that enthusiastic little hands deemed soil worthy. Guess we need to count seeds a little more stringently.

  • Yes, I've changed my strategy. Life, platform, plan and execution- it's like purging out the consequences of mistakes made and having way more room to assess and think. It's not about surviving depression anymore. It's about enjoying people I care about.

  • Q is important. Learn to Q.

  • I finally put a windchime on my deck. It's made of a rainbow of shells, and it's pleasant. This autist took 25 years to settle on random breeze blown noise. I'm not into noise or cluttering my view, but I do like this one.

Saturday, April 20, 2019

Elaborate facepalm but what's new

Patterns are fun.

Let's see what this one does.

Where is this coming from?

Wonder what they were hitting. Was it the same thing every time?

So 11, 3, playlist page on my continued Pinky blog. The 11th playlist down the page, third song is, "Tag, you're it."

I'm doing all this on my phone without an app. Whee.

Take from it what you will. Those who've known Pinky awhile might have a clue, but I'm busy and this is all you get. Won't matter if they never check here.

Tuesday, April 16, 2019

the right thing

I remember when I was pretty young, my little sister and I were doing the dishes (back then kids did dishes), and she told on me when I didn't rinse the silverware and just put them straight into the drainer. I was so young that I assumed everything disappeared as the water dried, and didn't think about the soap film drying on with whatever microscopic particles might dry on as well while clinging to the soap, because that is what soap does, captures particles and oils. I remember I was immediately affronted by her yelling for mom about skipping a step, because I was a bit bossy, as older sisters go, but she was right. Even if she was not aware of it yet, skipping a step like that could affect our health and safety.

I also remember years later when my baby sister (I had two sisters, this one is ten years younger) got in my face with her long nails threatening to tear my face if I didn't shut up. I could be a bit mean with my brand of humor back then, and even though I thought I was being clever, I got shoved against a wall with her nails in my face and eyes that I knew weren't kidding. So even though I was affronted by her rudely threatening me, I realized very quickly that maybe I'd better think about what I'm saying next time, because being awful about others outweighs being clever.

Julian Assange has sat in virtual confinement and house arrest for years for trying to speak up about skipping steps concerning our health and safety and cruelty to others. Parts of his old leaks contain reveals about uranium one and other parts contain reveals about child trafficking rings. A lot of people in very high places never wanted information like this to become public.

It's public now. It's been going around mainstream media not properly reporting on developments and has gone viral with the Q movement. Julian Assange is no longer trapped, and the world is about to see how ugly things have really gotten because others others either didn't stand up for health and safety and cruelty or were murdered for doing so.

See something, say something.

Clicks to source.

Sunday, April 14, 2019


Still here.

Still lurking.

Still extremely busy.

Still making lists, lol.

And my mind is beautifully still.

Thanks to various countries for the hit slams on other blogs, for the lurkers making rounds on all the blogs looking for me, and for the wanderers in the night who camp out for awhile.

Read between the lines if you think I haven't said things plainly enough.

One person actually found me.

Thursday, April 11, 2019


That's how long my right ear went before it popped again. Yes, appt with ENT but not until May.

If anyone is looking for a sign, there's your gematria right there. Throw in Assange being extradited by the U.S. on 4-11. 411 happens to be the call number for directory information services, so, irony much?


"He that hath ears to hear, let him hear."

Wednesday, April 3, 2019

reflections on truth sliding by

I've got 7 drafts sitting around. Wonder what they say.

"barely here" 12-6-18
Nothing written, but I remember that was a very rough day.

untitled 2-23-19
It's funny how words stick. Kiddo couldn't say Hello Kitty when she was a titty bitty baby, so it's still being called Hottie Candy even though she's 5 now. *fave*

untitled 2-25-19
Nothing written, but I remember there was a whole lot I really wanted to say.

untitled  2-26-19
All the ways minecraft has affecting my real life thinking-

  • Realizing that if I start the washing machine before I leave the house that it will keep running the entire time I have this chunk unloaded while I'm elsewhere.

"born folded" 3-23-19
Nothing written, but I remember the funny thought I had.

"shadows of earth" 4-1-19
Silhouettes of trees that ragged shreds of sunlight find their way between to recreate the sun on slips of dark water below.

"musical worms" 4-2-19
(This I actually want to write, and left myself notes, but nothing more.)
Intellectual art of the British condition, brutally cruel irony.

A musical about meat pies.

Case in point JD HBC movie.

I'm just a worm. Quotes from Labyrinth.


I do this everywhere I go, online, real life... You can follow me around the house and there are scribbled on scraps of paper scattered like leaves, piles of spirals, oddball collections of envelopes I've written on, everything imaginable. Online I leave bits of brain all over a fleet of blogs. My major blogs all have drafts sitting around, some of them nearly ready to go but just sitting there for actually even years.

Brunei is stoning gays now. Their new law goes into effect tomorrow. A lot of people there are going to die very miserably and very horribly. I can't even imagine watching someone I love die like that. I can't imagine anyone wanting to throw rocks at someone to the point of making them actually die. I can't imagine that level of animosity toward another human.

I wrote about Brunei on my Lexx blog. I noticed after one particular character post that Brunei hit that blog so hard that they outstripped all other countries combined for about a week. I speculated at the time that my article was going viral over there. Imagine something you write being a really big deal on the other side of the world where they still torture and kill and persecute helpless people for stupid beliefs that never allow anyone to survive without completely becoming the perfect public servant. Color inside the lines or die. Anyway, Brunei currently holds 16% of all time blog traffic there over nearly 5 years. That's extremely unusual. Current total is 4641. That may seem small, but Brunei is a small country, and my blog is a very fan focused blog for a small world fandom for a 20 year old TV show.

I struggled through the previous five years against ridiculous challenges making 'braining' very hard. I felt like it was important to say things. I've written plenty of times about the importance of connecting, reaching deep for honesty with ourselves, becoming aware of others, stepping past out boundaries and learning more than what we are told from birth is truth. I find it very easy now to write, and I have glorious epiphanies when I'm furthest away from my laptop or a pen and paper. My life now is so active and full and even enjoyable that I rarely wind up on keyboard any more. I'm loving being able to be busy.

But I still lurk. Every day I see the world burning, people standing up to tyranny and injustice, and social media stomping them back down like a big brother boot. Every day I see the hope rally again, literally all over the planet. We can all see each other now, and we have found each other, and we understand each other with just one circle sporting a little tail.

I'm not sorry I left. To be honest, I barely even miss it once in awhile. And with the gravity of the depravity, I no longer love the firelight flickering on the wall in the cave. They say those who know don't sleep. The truth of that is still so chilling that I still get goosebumps and feel sick. Yes, I stopped sleeping again for awhile. I sat up shivering through many wee hours digging deeper and finding hard truth that chilled my very bones.

People in Brunei will be dying horribly tomorrow. They are just one part of the long sadness on this weeping world. I'm sure a major network will fictionalize it into a space show and Americans will tweet it up like candy.

I can't do that any more.

I'm pretty sure this is my last life cycle on this planet. I understand now why my life has felt so urgent, why I have felt so pressured to share what I write. I've always known I came here with a purpose.

I've worked very hard purging my soul, laying out my emotional entrails for a very thorough autopsy, and prepared myself for the cold hard fact that we live on a prison planet. Little did I know the reveals would start quietly exploding, and the war would escalate to very personal space, and that I would risk losing everything I am online.

So I joined the anons.

The most powerful thing I can do every day is bring safety, comfort, joy, and love into my household. Every day we meet in this sanctuary and feel good that we are home. I no longer struggle with depression the way I used to. I no longer wrestle with indecision over what to do. I no longer sweat the priorities. My priority is my people first, in my home, regardless.

Pinky blog was about finding ways to survive being a mess. It was good for me to work through all of that. I feel much more ready now for come what may, and I am not afraid.

I know what they do in the dark. They won't be able to buckle up or run and hide. My people are coming. The Maestro, the QArmy, the anons and autists are all coming, and this madness will be ending soon.

No more of this genuinely stupid raping and killing by governments, by billionaires, by banks and CEOs and politicians. No more inflicting for profit.


If you know what this means, high five. I've already embraced the sick cruelty as fact because I was already halfway there with my own life. Those who can't stomach the truth will be emotionally crushed, and it's going to be very, very hard when you realize what some beloved celebs have been holding back from all of us. We hang on every day because of them, and it's a lie and they know it. The flickering lights entice us, and they dance around the truth mocking us, and they don't think we'll ever wake up so they keep getting away with murder.

Tuesday, April 2, 2019

flying past...

click pic to see more amusement park history and information

Some of the girls in kiddo's pre-K have made a rousing rhythmic playground chant out of the words one of their moms apparently blurted in disgust- Oh. my. GAWD. Look. at-her. BUTT! And this is delightfully chanted over and over until I'm ready for God to tap that mom on the shoulder and ask if she took her forgiveness pills today. You know, the multi kind that absolves others of public ridicule and humiliation by bringing up cognizant awareness of the consequences of our behaviors in front of children, and pre-cancels the damage of teaching poor behaviors to the next gen.

Judgementalism- The gift that keeps on giving.

This is why we can't have nice things, guys.

Kiddo is old enough now for a simple point system to make a big impact on behavior. Want a reward? Rack up points. One point if you buckle yourself in like a big kid. Another point for packing everything dragged out back into the backpack before we get home. Another point for putting dropped school clothes into the hamper. And so on. I took it another step and set out a $12 one gallon fish tank, still in the box. Buncha points later, we might go get a fish. Good habits becoming automatic, filled with fun and excitement! Wheeee. Don't worry, I'll make sure the point to satisfaction ratio balances out while I eek out all the new good behaviors I can. Kid time goes by like *zap* high speed, so at best, I've got a week (at best) to make this work with super hyper brilliance a-blaze, Calvin and Hobbes style. I'd like to thank the creators of "Meet the Robinsons" for the "You mean you LIED to me?" look of drop jaw baby meh I've ever seen in real life by an up and coming actress in the house. Stop modeling sarcasm and disgust for children. 😠 We went through three days  of me being called a liar in a variety of creative ways, and I finally heard the original lines in the movie as I walked through the room. Yes, I did sit and watch it. It's the tiny child version of Hot Tub Time Machine. To use a very bad word in this house, it's stupid.

My gynecologist has that two-week head cold now. I guess all her circles have warned her about the dragging out into a whole month thing with the extra goodies, like the way my ear stayed plugged solid. Sounds like everyone in town is suffering nearly identically. I told her about the sudden super dizzy spell that wound up sending me to MRI to rule out TIA (all good), so whatever that cold virus is, it's weaponized for long-lasting misery deluxe, and expensive to slog through. She has my condolences.

Meanwhile, I'm back to back doctor visiting getting a pileup of stuff outa my way, like the shoulder shot, eye exam (new glasses coming!), tomorrow I see podiatrist for minimal advice, and hopefully my last follow up over that dumb cold. My ear still won't pop. Wonder if I'll be referred to ENT.

Spring is looking pretty. The super cold snapback got us a bit cranky over the weekend, but hopefully that's the last one.

I am in the middle of 6 writing projects. I finally just took most of the winter off so the interruptions would stop being interruptions. Life has been feeling like we're all bits of lettuce in a salad spinner, and about the time you think that's over, it's the salad shooter and we all go flying again. I haven't been this nonstop drop and run... ever?  Sure feels like it, anyway.

The back of my mind nags away...