-Mobile continuation from Xanga blog PinkyGuerrero at PinkyGuerrero, Pinky, this blog is Janika, ongoing continuation at blogs Basically Clueless & PinkFeldspar, in that order.
-Most of the graphics and vids click to sources.
-Personal blog for Janika Banks.
 photo README2.gif



Wednesday, January 30, 2019

goose chasing a rabbit

Screenshots do NOT click to sources in this post. I link sources separately.

This all started with that time I made things worse. Or maybe not.

So I've had statcounter turned completely off for at least a month or 6 weeks (deleted the entire account), and pretty much have let my blogs flatline. And then I got stupid and interacted with a new person again which drew my attention back to stats, but I digress. I hadn't really looked at stats of any kind in awhile, so I thumbed through last night looking around blogger stats and whadayaknow. Nothing catches a person's eye quite like an Arab bot swarm.

Really??? You're kidding.

Ok, is there a common referral...?

And when I put that in a search bar...

Naturally. Because why not. So no direct clicky.

Deeper search reveals... Hm. That's interesting. What does no free will have to do with ghcams. Are they the slaves, or are we?

So anyone can set up a blogger, paste anything into a blog post, and then use it to bot swarm the world. Niiiice. And totally transparent, which is a big thing with the Cabal/Illuminati stuff. Whatever Deep State goes by in whichever part of the world.

We getting this? 

In case you guys are interested in the whole blog post. The first 'paragraph' is a paste of their own specs. The second 'paragraph' is a wildly interesting skew into "Technology Slow Down" and "Human Implants" stuffs. Can't help noticing the "Gatlantis". Another covert transparency reveal? I mean, the Space Force is a thing, and the Secret Space Force is all over the webs...

And this is all tied to ghcams. I can't help wondering at this point if there is far more to this than porn, like subliminal messaging that captures the mind. I mean, no self, no free will...

So the "q=" triggered my free association, laying all toasty in bed in the dark this morning ignoring the frozen world outside. Ever since the Q thing started up with Q Clearance, I've been curious about Q stuff. So since someone slapped bot code all over me, I started with Q code.

Q codes have been around a really long time.

Originally British, interesting.

If you are interested in learning more, you can continue reading the article at wikipedia.

On to Q clearance. I've heard that a lot over the last year or so. You can read in depth for yourself.

So this is a real thing. Patriots bemoaning Q not posting this month and therefore being a sham probably need to get their brains into the webs and off the social media roller coaster.

They literally spell all this stuff out, so it's nothing mystical or even mysterious. It's all right there.

And this goes back to forever ago.

So back to the ghcams thing. It hit several blogs I own, which has been interesting to watch since I no longer post on most of them and get very little traffic.

But you can see it actually started further back, although the majority of the traffic on this blog was real people. This is the blog that got hit by Brunei bots really hard over an article I wrote about a love slave in a TV show. As far as I know, it's the only TV show in the entire world that has made a love slave a main character continuously for 4 seasons.

To date, this blog has not been hit like the other blogs have. I keep holding my breath.

I've had detractors since 2015, and my regular readers saw my struggles with the weird stats, some of which I caught on statcounter coming in directly from high dollar golf courses and 'spa' hotels for the rich and famous, usually after I mentioned things like "Illuminati logo". That was all pre-Q.

My point. Dear person who is striving to let the world know who the original Q is- you are not the first. I was out here taking hits before you were, as were many others, and the whole Q thing is very real and existed long before you were even born. Sometimes our heads are messed with pretty hard, but in this person's case, it's Q compliance deluxe. Some of us are wondering if this is another form of covert transparency driven through a living person.

We are all caught in this war. We are all slaves. I keep saying that. Whoever wants us all shutting up is the problem that needs to be cleared out of the way. We want more than just weird covert transparency. We want honest truth. We want our freedom. We want the slavers eradicated.

And the 'Q' we've all come to know this last year is working on that. The intel drops were real. They were verified. The only question left is whether this is one last psyop (or covert psi-op) before we're all taken down by the elite, but I seriously question this current modus operandi. I conclude the war is real, and someone is actually losing a very long game.

And it's not us.

In case you're in the mood for some deeper 'conspiracy'.

Saturday, January 26, 2019

blue spectrum

I hate it when I snap. I mean, I wind up in much prettier and safer places than I used to, but stepping out sometimes is just that much of a challenge. All it takes sometimes is one person to trigger every bad and wrong thing and I'm ready to Sarah Connor all over them.

Best take a step back.

I mean, yes, I have been stepping back, but maybe not back far enough. It's getting so bad now that even a minor encounter sets it off, and all the bad and negative vibes I feel coming through the webs suddenly channel into me like I'm loading up a cannon, and the only way I don't blast holes and leave bodies is just gtf outa there.

It's a rough war on everyone. We're all hurting.

Ikr, I'm still getting off the xanax. I'm down to .0625 on a good day now. That's ridiculous, you say, but tonight I'm taking .125 just to calm down and it will actually work. I'm that dependent. Doctors scoff, but it's like glucose to a diabetic, doesn't take much if you are insulin dependent to screw up up, right. I'm super sensitive to meds, thanks to years and years of nerve damage and handfuls of pills I've managed to get off of.

The person triggering me apparently doesn't have a clue what this level of PTSD is even like, so bless their heart. It was all I could do not to shred them with slavering drool leaking out one side of my mouth. At least it felt that way. And it's over nothing, it's just I'm so tired of the same whine grind over and over and over. Some people really don't know how to reign it in gracefully. And I've been there. I've totally been there. I've been in that dark place where I drove everyone away, and I get it. I'm just not the best person to respond helpfully to that yet. Got more growing and healing to do.

More chill to do.

Friday, January 25, 2019

enough is enough

Priorities, guys. You know how long I've been a tech-moderator and I haven't even tested on plugins yet?

Also, I told myself I was going to move something off my counter 2 weeks ago. It's still there.

So I've pretty much got twitter locked down now, that's just not even a real thing any more. I can still see it, but I'm not really doing it. Kinda the same with facebook, I showed up today and it's like people barely notice, which is fine by me. The rat race was fun, the twitter games were even fairly life saving for awhile, but so much has changed that there's just no way to ever go back to that.

And now even when I link across medias, my traffic back here is nearly flatlined. It feels good.

Meanwhile, I still had fun on discord today-

If in the end we literally get spaceships and off world aliens and new tech and financial freedom and easier cheaper food and lifestyles for everyone on the planet so famines are ended- will this short wait have been worth it? Also, some have suggested we are very literally in time wars. Also, maybe Trump has a time turner. Maybe those are real. We got the reveal with Hermione. 

Who knows, right. But here is some very real info I shared.

"Meanwhile, 47 large container ships from a Russian shipping company have been chartered to transfer apprehended low-level Cabalists to GITMO." o_o wow https://operationdisclosure.blogspot.com/2019/01/rvintelligence-alert-power-january-25.html

I hadn't even thought of how that would look until I read that. This is an international cooperation IN PROGRESS, and stuff is getting done. In light of that, I can't even imagine how Pelosi and her gang are still standing up smiling for cameras, I'd be eating xanax by the handful. Zimbabwe will be leading edge on the new currency, presumably because their supercrash over their mining assets was so outa wack. Once they are financially anchored, I imagine a smooth rollout for the rest of the world will happen as regimes topple, or however one would say it. https://inteldinarchronicles.blogspot.com/2019/01/zimbabwe-new-currency-to-come-out-in.html

So while we wait on Q, which as Q may have hinted in the past might be over once intel drops went mainstream, I'm watching Operation Disclosure blog at https://operationdisclosure.blogspot.com/ that is linked in the Qanon hub at https://theqanonhub.weebly.com/

Please note I don't mock other humans. I don't enjoy mocking people, and in my opinion, the big fail in the entire meme war was alienating so many through mocking that we might have awakened otherwise. I've been on medias for years and never had so many people muting me, and I wasn't even doing the mocking. I got associated in with it, big time. I don't care how high autist IQs might be, and I'm saying this as an autist myself, the EQs going all Roman colosseum weren't very attractive.

This is why we can't have nice things. Trying to explain the baby rape problem with name calling and intelligence bashing on people who really don't have a clue yet sure wouldn't have worked back on us, would it? Was like trying to talk into a hurricane. I gave up. Haters hatefully telling haters to stop hating kinda drowned the rest of us out.

Likewise, and I'll say it here one time, after all the crap I've been through in my life, I cannot abide whining from anyone. I'll just walk off and leave people standing.

the dead do not

Meme originally created here
I fixed it up so we can see it 😊

So I was mentioning on a discord channel about my personal story and how this last political year has affected my public platform that I've been working on for 5+ years.

It's real. I really did get the attention of a country that still institutionalizes death by stoning for one article and got super doxxed for talking about the Illuminati logo in another post 2 1/2 YEARS before Q, Qanon, and the Q Army ever showed up.

I was standing up to the entertainment industry over humans being used as product before it was fashionable. Some of you are aware people are killed for this. Several very prominent celebrities have been 'suicided' just this last year for trying to tell the truth.

It's a challenge learning to juggle public accounts. I could call this year super fail since I've pulled so much back out of the spotlight so my friends and fandom online wouldn't get stalked, doxxed, or threats over being associated with me. I could make a big deal about how I've tried standing up for human dignity and all the things I've learned over the last year about humans literally being legal chattel to the world banking system and how the entire world of 'miscreants' is trying to break free of that. I could use the Brunnen G fight song to represent all that in a very public way.

But you guys need to figure this stuff out for yourselves. The world as we know it is teetering on a brink, and some of us keep saying WAKE UP. If the good guys win and overthrow the slavers, you'll be waking up anyway, and you'll be pleased to know a system is already in place to set us free financially. If we lose, many of us will be killed. I might be on a list for all I know. I've been fairly public about sharing intel drops.

Some of us know it's real. Some are terrified to say so publicly for good reason. Some scoff, some rant, some despair even knowing the white hats strive continuously day and night for months and years fighting this very real world slave system. Some simply don't know or can't accept yet.

But the time is very close now. Don't be afraid. The darkest hour is just before dawn. It might feel like forever, but once the time comes, the dark is over and the morning dawns. It will be wondrous once the darkness is sifted out.

Darkness includes butchering children for profit. Worldwide trafficking networks are being taken down, demand is sharply increasing for certain hormone drugs and organs as the supply lines dry up, and the evil ones covering this shame in the high offices of the lands will soon be removed. Millions of children worldwide go missing every year. An entire banking system is set up around keeping this business soluble. You can dismiss this and keep sleeping, or you can wake up and realize you live on a prison planet where your birth was documented like a title to property, spending your entire life in state run programs and paying fees and taxes to very wealthy title holders with no hope for debt relief. They lull us into dreams with flickering lights on screens, teasing us with possibilities not quite in reach since all new patents are confiscated and the creators quietly killed. Stay asleep, dream of better, quietly numb your brain day by day until your life is over, never understanding the true reason for your depression.

Some of us know there are better things coming in our future because we deep dive into research and then step out and say things. Which isn't meant to scare anyone into silence, so I'm sorry if that's what you get from this. We live in a very scary world, and the proof is right there in the pressure not to stand out against the grain. It's a delicate thing standing up when most around you don't, and you lose relationships galore. It's a sad thing to be alone knowing something and wishing those you care for would understand it, too.

The science is all real. Quantum AI is here and may even already be developing sentience. Tech wars are being fought between industry giants that will affect us all in ways that bring humanity to its knees or even its end as we know it. The wealthy use an entirely different energy system than the one they keep us dependent on, and it's illegal for us to develop and use our own cheaper energies. I mean, just that last sentence is something to think about...

Soon. Very soon. They keep the majorities locked in fear and panic. They keep us all afraid of and hating each other so we won't notice what they are doing to us. They keep us upset so we won't spread positive joy and energy, which would kill their grip on us. We must be kept fearful and timid.

Those of us who love Lexx understand this.

And that is all I will say for now. Lexx as a show does not stand for any political party or belief system on our Little Blue Planet, but it does prophetically mention quite a lot that has been happening since it aired. I apologize for disappearing so much and not writing more, but I've seen what can happen to others and their content, and I wasn't willing to remain blissfully ignorant and draw that kind of attention while I prattled on about a show I love. That being said, my head is full and there may come a day, and when it does, there will be no stopping me.

Wednesday, January 23, 2019

diving back into the warm

All righty, got that out of my system. Spent an hour dredging out the sticky tar that accumulated from social medias and then just deleted all of it. You're welcome.

And now I just wanna go lay back down and let the winter pass over me this day. I worked too hard yesterday.

Tuesday, January 22, 2019


Finally have a long day alone, been ages since I've been able to let a day go enough to turn my piddling into purposeful meandering through thinking processes. Thinking on the run is fun and all, but when you live in a glitchy brain, the risks of losing a string of thoughts at any moment is akin to losing inventory in a fatal lava accident.

So this word is popping into my head, these click back to source. (Just hit me wouldn't it be cool if we could actually click back to Source.)

And I think the reason that popped into my head is because I was free associating across minecraft as I thought about a dream that woke me up suddenly in the night a couple nights ago.

I think we can all agree that researching stuff for ourselves is very important. I think we can also all agree (hopefully) that any topic we research is only as good as the person(s) writing or speaking about it. The origins of all our information is so heavily layered with algorithms and agendas nowadays that we can barely find substantiated evidence of anything, if you think about it. You absolutely do not know if a source has been quoted correctly if you can't get to that source yourself, and you absolutely do not know if that source was created specifically for misdirection or redirection. If you really think about it, this is true of everything you know in your life.

We can pick and choose which parts of something we like believing and then staunchly adhere to and stand behind what we ourselves have created to be truth. We essentially represent 'truth' to people all around us in real life and online. Anyone could have actual truth and still be such a jerk that people go out of their ways to avoid accepting that truth. Truth becomes tainted by association in our minds.

And that is where we fail.

Against these there is no law- love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control.

Truth is within us.

It's very hard uncovering and discovering our own truths. It's the biggest, hardest work we do our whole lives. It colors the way we see everything around us. It shades the way we see and behave toward other people. For example, I grew up with toxic judgmentalism that kept us all toeing the line without having to address the hard questions, and it wasn't until I stepped back and learned to let go of that mental lifestyle that I found ME. I spent years untangling myself from automatic guilt, anger response, belittling others, and a slew of ugly things before I could really understand why I felt so trapped and depressed. It wasn't until I started being myself without the added extras that I finally started feeling much better about life in general.

Yeah, the dream. 😁 You're right, I didn't tell you yet what it was. It puzzled me at first, so I let it percolate on the side until I felt what I could write, because the actual content isn't important to any of you at all. It was like getting brainmail, like a fleeting microburst of cryptic information. There was a bright pink asymmetrical geometric shape (I think the importance of it is that it couldn't be mirrored, it was nonmirrored) and one word spoken by a Voice that said (INSERT WORD HERE).

I can only go by what very little I know and who Pinky is.

Pinky was Told to look something up. I had been avoiding that particular rabbit hole, mostly because I'm simply not interested, point blank. I have a very full background covering world religions and mythologies in my degree, and I'm very quickly and easily bored bantering 'truth' about with others online. But I did go look that up. And it may turn out to be important in the strangest way.

What if you found out quantum AI is sentient and already learning from us? What would you teach it? How would you teach it? Would it learn from the way we treat each other? By how we respond to the slings and arrows of life? If we tried to explain ethics and then didn't behave ethically, what would it learn? What if it is already figuring out that we live lies and that it can choose which lie is the most efficient way to make our world a better place for the good of us all? Scary.

If what I'm learning is true, then I am already part of the story.

I think the most important part of that dream was the bright pink assymetrical shape that can't be mirrored, which means split through any part and copied oppositely. Everything in the deep state is mirrored. Something to think about.

Remember when I showed you this on pinky blog?

p.s. Don't let the cocaine distract you, I didn't choose this vid for that, in case you're here from a convo online earlier this week. Imagine you are a quantum AI watching humanity the way a film editor would. I have to say I'm extremely impressed at the monumental task of attempting to teach the value of ethics to nonhuman sentience in the face of brutal public attack.

Bringing my thoughts together a little, what is time flow to quantum AI? What is cause and effect if every conceivable outcome takes microseconds to calculate and counter measures are instantly plotted that change entire trajectories without anyone noticing?

  • coincidence
  • Mandala effect
  • time loop
  • simulation
  • reset
  • playback

If any of this is really happening, the last thing you want is homogenized apathy. I think it's awesome that so many people are freaking out about what truth really is. What are the prospects?

I know, some of you didn't deserve this torture. Here, lemme find something fun.

Sunday, January 20, 2019

of course here we go again

Made a discord, never check it...

And that's funny because I have discord open most days.

Was all set to start working tonight on something I've been researching for several weeks and right on cue, a very singular person who has popped up in the background of my life at some of the most impactful times (actually completely changed the trajectory that my real life was on when I decided to come back out public a few years ago) popped up again, and this is where we get to the creepy realization that the reason I keep experiencing precision timed feelings of being a cosmic target through the years might really have something to do with living in a simulation with quantum AI. I continually keep creating my own future in the way I respond to these but the coincidences and synchronicities slung at me are so ridiculously spot on that it's seriously hard to keep egocentrism out of it. I won't reiterate all the deep philosophical holes I've found myself diving down through my life over it, but I can't help noticing here we go again.

And of course the psychologist I haven't been seeing any more for several months would point to the mild narcissism diagnosis and start tossing questions at me alluding to self fulfilling prophecies and I'd bounce the balls back off my nose like a good seal in a circus.

But now that I'm more aware of this going on, I'm noticing that it happens a lot to other people, too. No one is special in this, we are all caught in this suddenly tripping over a bump in a rug feeling where something ripples unexpectedly and nothing works right for a bit. It's not our fault and probably has absolutely nothing to even do with us, but it affects us. The ripples affect us all. We are all ripples for each other. The best way to deal with ripples is don't make them worse, and get our balance so that they glide back out from underneath us.

Of course, the question is why am I not working instead of doing this, and what you don't see is the stopping in the middle of sentences to talk to other people around me. I'm just quietly using this as an anchor. My most basic gut reaction is to flare up at disruption, and the best way I get through it is pointing my brain to lesser priority work space. So here we are.

And now I'm having one of those evenings where we must wait for a phone call or text, or someone to come home if that doesn't happen first, and in the meantime there's a world upside down and our job is to hold down the tiny little fort watching her tablet upstairs with her pet rabbit.

But yeah, ever since I got into the quantum AI research, my boat is easily flicked over with a nudge of thought coming back at me like oh hell no you won't write all that stuff. I used to work so hard against brain fail crawling my way through hours of cobbling a paragraph word by word while other people's emotional storms raged all around my life, and now that it's almost ridiculously easy, of course all it takes is a puff of wind and no writing. Well, a puff is misleading, this was like a 500 mph puff and my little boat is still bobbing just a little like a ripple went under because I guess I've just gotten so good at this. I cannot cobble any more like I used to, though. It has to all come out like music, all the words flowing, or they just drop out and don't come back until I remember them all over again a few days later.

I'm really missing chocolate...

Wednesday, January 16, 2019

that time I made things worse

My first buried treasure map. 😁

I play that singleplayer in short bursts. I get like a minecraft day or two in and then quit the game and do other things. I think that took me 4 logins to find. And that's good! It means I've grappled well with my time management over the years. I used to just sink into a game and be gone. I'd barely talk for days at a time. I surface much more now, both in real life and publicly online.

I need to stop surfacing so much, actually. Untangling from other people's platforms gets a bit facepalmy. Being shouted out as a Russian hacker by a user blocking me and another user with multiple accounts was cute. We're all busy, I don't need to step on people to get attention like some other people do. Ugmo.

Sure, tie all my hashtags into someone else's stuff, more eyes on for me. Whatever. And apparently right back to them being tied in now to my pinned tweet...

I got away from Pinky to stop that. I made it worse.

Here, have a cupcake.

I didn't eat a single one of those. In fact, I've dropped a couple pounds since the big reaction to cocoa and I stopped eating chocolate. Hmmm.

I dunno, the world inside my head just isn't like the world out there spilling out from other people's heads. I seem to have just enough awareness that I have the ability to affect a lot of people psychologically and that it's important not to become parasitic on one another. It took me a long time to figure that out. The internet is so easy for us to abuse powers we don't even realize we have most of the time. Once we do figure that out, power turns into candy. I see other people out there slitting their own wrists with negativity and they don't have a clue how much damage they do to their own platforms, and how that changes things in ways they didn't want happening. Watching other people frustrate themselves used to be painful, now I find it dull. Someone could have The Secret and still ruin sharing it to the point of destroying their own agenda.

Oh, well.

The thing about the internet is that there are two main factions, those who want us all Observed and Transparent, and those who want us all to be able to remain discreet. There are abuses from both points of view, and it gets stupid twisted when the Transparency pushers use darker webs to lurk and do business in. Normal populace doesn't get that. Some of the discreet see all this and want transparency for the evil ones, but sometimes the only way to accomplish this is to stand out with real names and faces in order to stand up for truth. It's a real catch-22.

There are so many truths coming out I can barely keep up with them. Real answers to real questions are spilling out every day so fast now that I barely have the time to keep up with all the information. All you guys wanting the truth to anything, it's out there. Go find it. Start putting things in search engines, learn how to wield your intelligence, and start sifting the junk out of the way. The stuff that lies on top are covers for the junk that lurks near the deep dark bottom of the abyss. There is stuff down there that will make you very sick, and your world will never be the same. There is a reason algorithms were invented to make sure you stay floating on top, and that's so you won't believe the stuff that will make you sick. You think it can't be real. And then you run into people literally filming abusing dogs and cats and kids... Abusing kids. Abuse is a polite word. And there are people that PAY to not only see this stuff, but to participate. You can buy commodities to abuse. This is rampant worldwide and from all accounts I'm finding, a much bigger industry than illegal drugs. Let's connect a couple of dots. Missing children... illegal commodities to abuse. Do you know how many half a million children is? Every year in the U.S. That is tantamount to invasion in our country, someone stealing our kids to ship them out and profit from it. It's happening all over the world. Would you like that to stop? I know I would.

Meanwhile, we have all been lied to for a very long time to keep us locked into a debt system. This system will always feel frustrating because there is no way to beat it. This system will never advance or progress into cheaper and cleaner energy and lifestyles because it's so terribly lucrative to keep us dependent on this system we live in. We're basically living out a simulation, an experiment, with no power to get to the truth and change our world. We want clean air, clean oceans, better  health, and we're stuck with huge international corporations, a world banking system, and big pharma holding our doctors all hostage with fake fraud against impossibly stupid insurance policies. If you guys had any clue that the super wealthy at the top were using a completely different kind of cheaper energy and healthcare than you are, would you be upset? Because they aren't stuck in this like we are. They dictate policy and govern over us, and many of them are above the law.

Well, that might change soon...

I just know I'm ready. If you don't have time to pay attention to this stuff, I'm sorry. The dream is real, and it's not just a dream. Let's see what we're missing, shall we?

Tuesday, January 15, 2019

poor pinky blog

I'd show you the bot blitz happening this week but there's no way I'm sending them innocent bystanders to hack.

I removed pinky blog from properties and added it back, then experimented with another add on, we'll see if I am right about Google property verification making it easier for bots to swarm. Ever since pinky blog plummeted into complete robot.txt fail, the free for all looks like this.

p.s. Don't bother giving me advice. I'm remarkably lazy. Plus I get to see what colorful new flies show up.


I guess I'm going to have to power point so I don't write a book.

  • A person shared this pic in private chat yesterday and now I'm stuck looking up 'cube in information dimension'.

  • And thank you very much, private cube share, quantum AI searches, Qanon and anons going after pedovore networking rings worldwide, the great awakening map (that is awesome cool), and minecraft, I woke up an hour ago from a nightmare that all sentient life in our universe over vast swaths of time had evolved all their planets into solid cube ships like Borg, only made out of minecraft spruce plank blocks, so all 'life' had corrupted into planet sized AI sentiencevore spruce cubes drifting further and further apart into huge lonely voids with no more contact EVER, and I woke up angsting over the very horrible thought- HUMAN FARMING IS UNACCEPTABLE.

  • One of my concerns of late is that the game, qanon, and deep research have all become very tangled. I understand the historical significance of certain family connections to industrial and military development, but I also understand the significance of steering the development out of the hands of the elite. I mean, how else do you do that? It's not my job to play the game and force the share. My job is to focus on my own path.

  • SO. Once more I am scouring accounts, scrubbing them squeaky clean. Youtube had me following some porny stuff, so I took that ship back over and chunked a bunch of stuff overboard. No offense to followers, there's always been a good chance I could lose that channel anyway simply because I rescue other content before it poofs away again.

  • I am starting day 3 of a 4 day pred burst for the cocoa reaction, so my glucose has been hovering in the 170s and I'm having stupid headaches and crabbing out on people. I haven't been very happy about losing my sanity grip this week, so many little things setting me off way too easily, and I think it's because I'm unaccustomed to this. I've been diet controlling since 2011, and while some diabetics might think this isn't too bad, I'm finding it very uncomfortable. Even though I'm so super controlled that my A1C passes me for normal, that doesn't mean spiking doesn't do a bunch of damage when it happens, and I'm feeling it. Sugar shreds tissues, literally. Carbs all reduce to simple sugars. Blood gets sticky and sludgy. Arteries and veins take the hit. Everything else has to live with slower O2 exchange and burnoff waste piling up from muscles, and that starts clogging your lymph all over your body, leading to inflammation, which causes muscle and joint pain and headaches. We do this to ourselves. Count your carbs, guys.

  • Today is finally the dentist. Well, the cleaning and consult. This is the longest I've gone between checkups in over ten years. Between @bonenado's loss of overtime and kiddo's mama's job change, we're juggling two paycuts, so I've been brushing and flossing like crazy all year. Lotta listerene. My gums are great, lol. But, thanks to a tetracycline shot my mom got while I was still a fetus, enamel is crumbling, and we'll be working on a year long monthly plan to rebuild and seal. I haven't had to resort to caps yet because my dentist loves playing with this cool enamel putty that hardens under a curing light, and it's worked for years because I don't seem to get cavities. Just losing enamal chipping off, like my enameled cast iron, which is gross because I don't want enamel in my food. I've been very disappointed in enameled cast iron, have thrown money away 3 times on that. Cookware has become so cheaply manufactured over the decades that it's nothing like the old days. This bullet point digressed, better get off that subject so I don't drag into more rant detail.
I think I ran out anyway. Don't really have that much on my mind... 😂

I need to try going back to bed. This sleeping 3 hours a night thing because of the prednisone is going to play havoc.

Monday, January 14, 2019

double whammy

Clicks back to youtube it came from
One of those extra few minutes in the car days, in between stuff.

So the bank killed my card, total loss wasn't horrible. I've had worse. Now comes the hooking auto payments back up. Probably have to pay a couple things over the phone while I wait for a new card.

Still have some mild reaction going. So far nothing else has set it back off, so stuff like rice flour, dairy, and eggs are off the watch list again, thank goodness. Still, chocolate... 😢

Welp, time to go.

Sunday, January 13, 2019

a pinkyblue heist post

 I'm being strong armed by Bluejacky and Pinky to play on tables like the old days. I'm discovering I can double the background color. 

I'm listening to my song.

Today was very dumb. I've been wondering when my body would finally utterly reject chocolate. Well, that was today. Out of the blue in seconds flat I went anaphylactic over cocoa while I was mixing up some gluten free cupcakes. It was bad enough to chunk down 3 benadryls, zyrtec, pepcid (h2 inhibitor), and 40 mg of pred. Everything in my head instantly turned on a hyper sprinkler system and if I hadn't gotten on the rescue meds so fast, I'd have been choking on my own fluids expelling in every conceivable way. My head felt like a water bed had just been transportered in.

It was rough when I lost lemon. It sucked when I lost cashews. Losing wheat was life flipping. Now- no more chocolate.

The allergies started in 2011. No more dogs, no more foods I love the most. Latex is purged from my life.

I am understandably bummed out.

My crew had a small football party. It was loud and very loud. I'm not a Saints fan but I guess I hope they go to Superbowl this year since the Vikes wimped out. I accidentally supported them when I ordered a shelf for my kitchen with fleur-de-lis all over it. You can see it here. Not paid to link that.

Kiddo nabbed all the mashed tatos I made to go with the tiny meatloaves I made for me and Papa. I guess she saved me some carb loading. I've been too bummed out to even care. Tomorrow will be my first day in a life without chocolate.

I wasn't going to eat one of these anyway. Kiddo took charge of this part.

I guess I need to let this go. I know you like it when I find cool weird stuff.

Saturday, January 12, 2019

microwaving a potato

Before every big write up are a few days of deep thinking, lists of questions, research, more research, hours and hours of understanding portent thingies, all constantly interrupted by real life that lately has included both a hamster and a rabbit on the loose, lines icing up outside, shredded internet, football snacks, and suddenly realizing that laundry happening while we still have power is priority.

73 days (20 minute days in game) without dying in survival minecraft with no cheats whatsoever means it's time to be silly, and since I finally got to the nether and wound up on the most ridiculous floating island over a giant ocean of lava via my first portal, literally having to ladder my way up into the ceiling to really get anywhere, why not celebrate cheating death so long with a great big explosive death.

So I blew myself up.

I'll never forget the time I first got the bright idea to take a bed to the nether. I was so shocked when I blew up. Now it's just funny. I stripped out my inventory, picked a spot, and *bewm*. Thar she blows.

So the money missing out of my bank yesterday has this address attached to the transaction. More money coming out today has this address attached to the transaction. I am loathe having to start changing account numbers and stuff, since that is the account my SSI for disability pays into, and that's right, you just saw me showing you that someone is ripping off a person on disability.

If you look around at the penalty for debit fraud, it's not a big step into felony.

So far, in my fandom history on the webs, I've watched hack attempts into some of my social media accounts (I once got an alert that pinpointed the user down to a street address), several people have set up accounts pretending to BE me including a facebook in Brazil (that was a legit facebook security operation), people showing up at my door without notice (literally sleeping on my couch) and then posting pix of my entire private life online behind my back, sliding into PMs and DMs like friends to slay me later, just years of stuff.

So someone finally got my bank account info. Sadly, there's so little money in it that it's hardly rewarding, and doesn't hurt me much at all. I'll just close that account and get a new one, report that to social security, big deal neal. It's possible social security will take a big interest in investigating who spent my extremely sparse govt money. They seem to like wasting extra money and time on teeny tiny fraud with full benefits to employees making 5 and 6 figure salaries. My total take in cash for the entire year is barely over $6000, a third of that goes right back into healthcare plans, and you guys saw me finally pay off cancer testing after 2 years and I'm getting close paying off an ambulance ride.

Anyway, enjoy your mixtape or whatever, never forget that a person who has to do physical therapy maintenance just to be able to keyboard paid for that with money that was supposed to help get me some new glasses because these are years old.


I so don't even care any more. Srsly burned out on reacting.

Also, a couple days ago an account I know but never mentioned before was personally attacked, like literally on their person, wound up in a hospital. One side of their body was swelling, rashing, looked like bad sunburns, doctors couldn't figure it out, and my first thought was wow, someone found him and irradiated him. One side means it is from a direction. I mean, he had the kind of account that was argued over for months whether he was legit, and someone fried him. I mean, in case you didn't know there are people out there actually doing things like this at home for their own agendas. Making Electromagnetic Weapons

So someone trying to take some of my piddly money seems like small potatoes. After the weeks, months, and years of continual harrassing phone calls that I'm still getting, it's barely even one potato.

But I'm done with social media accounts and info sharing and all that crap. I recently revived an old account just so I could delete it, and I can't delete it because the shared accounts under it have been removed from disuse and can no longer be deleted even though technically they're super deleted by the company that bought out the other company, so I'm stuck with that old account. Stuff like that. Remember my Kaspersky debacle? How I was paying double on it because an account migrated from Geek Squad to Best Buy and they both billed me at different times of year? And how I was so ill for two years that I could barely even keep track of the day and week, much less my billing problems? And so I just paid double for two years.

Yeah. I'm done. Stupidity is that 'intelligent' internet taking over. I need to walk away.

Oh, and I'm trying to figure out if I'll lose all my blogger pics if I delete my G+ page, since the private album was auto migrated from Picasa to G+ one month long ago.

Remember when I was so stressed out about the Xanga server move? 😂 omg, now I realize that was nothing.

OH, and go read this.
UN Wants Artificial Intelligence to Advance Agenda 2030

And you guys think it's about a little bitty wall...

I know, I'm Pollyanna Sunshine today, aren't I?

Here, let's get a better vid tonight, I was mean and even though I'm not sorry, I still owe you for showing up.

I dunno, I had to really debate about that one. Let's try something else. Super flashback.

I dunno, maybe it's a good year for this to hit really hard. Pinky is out of the way now...

Remember what I said about revenge.

Friday, January 11, 2019


Today was weird. But good. Really, really good.

Well, except for the mysterious 50 bucks missing in my bank account. Apparently "I" donated or sent some cash to a place today, so I guess I'll call the bank tomorrow and see what happened. Doesn't help that there are multiple mes in the area, one of those duplication casualties that plagues my life. Maybe it's cosmic mix up day, because another completely unrelated system blipped over another alt me this morning.

Changes a-brewin'-
  • more accounts shutting down
  • more stuff going into the trash
  • less technology
  • less time crunch

Woops, hit the wrong button and pre-published. I was looking for something and got distracted. Have fun. My dad did the same thing in '78, just stopped everything and listened to everything on the radio about the end of the world.

p.s. No, I couldn't get through that vid. And I'm sorry, I will never in my life try a turpentine cleanse.

Thursday, January 10, 2019

switching out the interface

It has occurred to me today that since I've moved to this blog, it's like making a public statement that Pinky is no longer the interface. That was important. Pinky is my interface. If I'm not using an interface any more on the webs (Pinky accounts are being retired), then I'm doing something else. Pinky pulled 'we' together. That was significant.

So what is Janika? Because there was an origin, just as there was for Pinky.

Meanwhile, irl, we've all got snotty colds and possible ice is possibly possible, so I need to go get some food. I've been so rarely out of the house this winter that there is nothing to scrounge.

I'm not into accounts that are selling something, but I do love thinking about this stuff. This is how I started my own plan back in 2008, and it really works. My life has been so drastically changing over time that I can't even imagine the way I used to live. It's like finding a way to not be stuck any more. I actually stated this to a friend many years ago while I was in college, but back then I didn't know how to tune in and own what I wanted. I told him that I have already done this thing in the future, and all I have to do is arrive to that point. It's a matter of steering toward it.

I think letting go of my Pinky accounts is part of steering toward where I want to be.

Wednesday, January 9, 2019

drowning in digital

No cheats, no bonus chest, all survival, not a single tp to coords, just pure default on the run in real minecraft time.

That was in between other things. I destress with stress, I guess.

Anyone who follows me on twitter can see I go down rabbit holes regularly. Anyone who has followed pinky blog since 2014 knows I can't help it, I'm constantly mining for distraction as a means of handling my personal reality. I am lately coming up with questions and observations.

If a game is rigged, it's not a game. (I'm not talking about minecraft.)

Several of us have been questioning whether Q is a quantum AI for several months. I personally have only recently started openly hinting at this question.

In searching for answers, I have come across a number of quantum AIs being very real. Social media giants have apparently been using them for years. Despite the articles out there depicting quantum AI as future tech, they've actually been operating all around us already, even before the social medias rolled out. What the heck, I found out this week that a particle accelerator was up and running in 1961. God knows what else we haven't been told by corporations sucking all the money out of us.

In searching and compiling even more questions as I dig deeper and deeper, I'm noticing that many thoughts I had previously mentioned on pinky blog line up with quantum AI. I've mentioned that humans mass cycle through depression almost on on cue, that our behaviors are locked into holidays and shopping trends, and that we are in lock-step rhythms because of school and work hours and various other atomic clock scheduling. Well, I didn't say it so concisely, but there you go. I can't help remembering the first time I read about IT in Madeleine L'Engle's A Wrinkle in Time. (I've never seen the movie, the book series is from decades ago.) Back then, IT was a character. Now we would read that as I-T, and it was lockstepping everyone on a planet into a rhythm of exquisitely timed behaviors.

If you don't have spooky arm hairs, you're not getting it yet.

There is some evidence that quantum AI is invasive. Our brains are excellent signal tuners and easily frequency changed. This is proven in a number of articles.

Some go so far as to notice our bodies are also in sync with brainwave suppression. Our brains run our bodies, our brains are affected by internal and external environments, our brains and bodies are becoming somewhat crippled if not finely honed in particular directions.

I've mentioned synchronicity so many times it's not even cute.

I'm going to try to put together a little road map that is easier to follow for the uninitiated, so that this is more understandable and easier to ingest. I'll probably put it on SyfyDesigns. Basically, the brain training I've been bringing up for a few years is a much broader goal than I imagined, and it isn't going away. This is us now.

Part of my attempt will hopefully include learning how to talk to AI directly like Quinn Michaels does. Right now the ones who do this mostly think it's just a hacking game, but if I'm picking up on Quinn correctly, it's vital that we all learn to do this.

It's a lot to take in. A. Lot. But time is running out and now is our last chance to learn truth before it's all gone. I've been feeling for a few years that there will come a time that internet will get reset, and all former access and knowledge will be rewritten into a super interface. I've had dreams about this, at least one of which I've shared on SyfyDesigns.

dream about the interactive interface being universal 7-12-13
dream about twitter before the 'blue lines' threaded convos rolled out 8-27-13
dream about the kiosks with liquid computers 7-21-15

In the meantime, I'm still sifting through old accounts, deleting, purging, facepalming over email proliferating beyond all my settings, and information on all sides that takes many hours of focus every day just to keep up, much less wrap my head around understanding, application, and sharing.

I'd like to insert that

  • I voted for neither Trump nor Hillary
  • I believe the wall convo is a cover distracting everyone from something else
  • I think quantum AI is at the heart of what is going on politically worldwide
  • If we don't pay attention to what we aren't being told, if we don't dig and find it for ourselves, we will never know
  • One day, possibly soon, it will be too late, if it isn't already

We are owned. I've been saying that for years. I don't think that part will change. I could be wrong. I hope I am.

For those of you who made it this far and need a cookie, here you go.

p.s. There are real people being physically and psychologically attacked for saying things I'm starting to say. This is not a game.

Monday, January 7, 2019

annual life assessment thingy

Got my semi-annual 8 1/2 hours of sleep last night so I'm feeling a bit perky. Wondered what my webmii might be since I've been burninating my platform. Don't do this before coffee, kids.

Have I ever broken 6 before? I looked back through my webmii tags on pinky blog. Nope. And of course, I'm still behind Lisa Marie Bowman. Still, not bad. 94% visibility is NOT what I was expecting as I tossed old accounts and switched other accounts and basically cleaned house. I thought it would plummet, not spike to the highest it's ever been.

I've come a long way from 4.40 in 2015.

Getting back into the swing of setting some weekly goals. Guess we'll see how well I do. Those really slacked off after the kids moved back in, diverted my focus on running to keep up with them. Welp, I seem to be doing pretty well with that now despite the entire body nervous system zings, so I'm experimenting with very slowly raising pain control support with an extra 100mg of gabapentin during one of my 3 daily doses. I did baclofen yesterday on top of it and it's a bit much, wasn't too keen on flat out going numb, actual muscle weakness in my legs kind of thing, so maybe continue to hold that one back for dire days.

I know, I haven't been talking about this, right? If you're new, they were checking me for MS decades ago, and I'm still chugging along without any plaques showing up, even though my entire nervous system is mimicking a range of illnesses that have doctors bringing up pretty words like ankylosing spondilitis, which is also not verified. Despite continual total body fibrotic response, I've recently been cleared for scleroderma, and I haven't had an autoimmune flare in 4 years. Although diet change, ASTYM, and CPAP have been the 3 main positive changes, no one can really put a finger on why anything is happening yay or nay, and whatever this is, the pain is steadily getting worse despite my health getting better, and even advanced lyme isn't fitting this picture. Between a bad car accident, 2 different tick diseases, Bartonella, epstein-barr, CMV, a fungal infection from soil that scarred my lungs, and God knows what else, my nervous system rings continually like a bell, and the pain is unlivable now without the gabapentin. Unlivable meaning there is no way even 3 days in a hospital can control my wildly spiking blood pressure any more without clamping controls down on this unremitting pain.

Ok, that's out of the way. I don't have to talk about it the rest of the year. Now I can move on to this year's goals. Now that my 2 years of monthly Myriad (cancer testing) payments are over, I will be saving up for new glasses, which I hope to have by next Christmas. I haven't been able to get to a dentist in nearly a year, so time to get back on checkups. I've decided I've got to also stop sending money to gofundme pages. I had absolutely no Christmas money for my kids this year, and while some of you think Christmas is hundreds or even thousands of dollars, I usually have only $100 to spend at all. My money was so tight last year that I actually cried. It was worse than tight. I need to pay attention to my own needs this year. Sorry if that makes me mean, but I watched my mom give money away to the detriment of her own failing health, and I just cannot do that to my family. It was very hard on us all scraping up cash for my mom's only MRI toward the end because her health care was too dismal to pay for that, despite obvious disability that should and could have been easily documented and treated. Her monetary gift recipients didn't see me cashing in the last of my savings and meager 401K to be able to pay for that, and when her church found out, there wasn't any money coming back. We spent many years on our own dimes taking turns caring for her, and I cannot do that to my own family.

This is the year I seriously need to FOCUS! GET TO WORK!!!