Originally pulled together on Syfydesigns in 2019 from a blog I started in 2016 that is now gone.
I started a minecraft blog on March 6, 2016. I was the noobiest noob ever. I won't pull the entire thing over there, but I'll start here today with where I'm continuing there. It's basically about literally living in minecraft.
Where have I been?
I have been busy!!!
The last time I blogged here, I was playing on a multiplayer server under the mocreatures tag here on the blog. About 8 months after that post I was promoted to tech-moderator on that server.
Watching other players took on a whole new perspective. I'm not terribly gifted creatively, or maybe I just never made the time to develop being creative, but I'm fascinated with others creating in all their unique ways around their individual interests.
I started experimenting with singleplayers, pretty much went through world after world the way people go through racks of clothes in a store.
My real life was also changing pretty drastically, babysitting a little kiddo quite a lot. She insisted on making this one day. It looks pretty basic and very typical of the little girl unicorn genre, but I realized standing inside looking at the desert through all that pink glass that real life could have been so different for all of us in this real world if we'd been given more options. We are so standardized that it actually hurts to think about that. No wonder people flock to gaming.
After that, I really cut loose on playing around in my singleplayer worlds, realizing how much I could really control more and more situations in real life as I learned to expand and control them in game. I wanted to play survival, but default survival is so extremely frustrating that you really do have to level up your strategy skills to wizard just to stay ahead of all the fail. Which I did, by the way, and then did something very stupid and banged my head on the keyboard.
I realized I was in a horrible rut of doing the same thing over and over and not really learning anything new, so I updated and started learning new ropes, which were still fantastically frustrating. Simple basic stuff takes for-ev-er in survival. I think this was the breaking point, the huge hole over a loot chest that was actually a couple blocks over and nearly right on top of the sand. Whee, new things!
So I started bouncing in and out of creative, and after a dozen of those worlds I figured out I'm super easily bored with no frustration knocking me off track, so it boiled down to fine tuning the right mix of survival, creative, and configurations. It was like being strung out on minecraft crack, world after world after world.
I went on these crazy bipolar benders of all creative and all survival in between the fine tuning. I really did try this and I gotta say, I'm so super good now at surviving on next to nothing that I almost never die any more.
And still I kept searching for my answers.
I'd spend a couple weeks hammering out one world, slam through another, work tirelessly through still another... What was I trying to find? Why was I even doing this?
What in the world was I trying to accomplish or prove to myself? How many worlds have I left in my frenzied wake?
I was consumed. I usually don't cross the streams but I even started talking about it on multiplayer.
Don't get me wrong, I love multiplayer and all the unique stuff going on there, but sometimes even the mobs just go, Why are we here, man? Is there more out there than this?
Multiplayer keeps me extremely busy with inventory and timestamps, which I love. But some days you just wind up with a litterbox on your head.
It all started sifting out- I love both worlds. I want the mocreatures but I want the kinds of staff controls that allow me to set the environment. How can I create so that I'm not bouncing in and out of 'cheats' yet still not stifled with frustrating environments?
My heart and head are always in minecraft. I'm so consumed with it now that no matter where I am in real life, I'm in game in my head. I don't know if anyone has ever compared as such, but minecraft is like living in a high level chess game, playing all the pieces individually. The strategizing feels the same to me. I used to imagine my pawns and court pieces winning ragged battles across broken terrain for king and country, and now I'm building the entire world.
My worlds have become so intertwined that my years long anxiety levels have gone down dramatically. I'm not saying minecraft cures stress, but it's certainly helped me deal with a long list of stressors and think my way through real life problems in ways I never did before.
I used to be amazed at how well minecraft mimics the real world. Now I wonder if we are mimicking minecraft. If you go a little deep thinking about holographic universe and living in the matrix, yeah, minecraft has a lot of answers in it. I won't go there with the whole 9 thing yet, that's not really for this kind of blog, but I do think a LOT about real world science, pseudo science, esoterics, religions, physics, and especially quantum AI while I'm deep in the game.
And I waxed poetic. Lyrics.
I always needed a raison d'être, well. It's time to settle on a world.
And it needs to be flexible enough to allow me a little fun.
It needs to integrate without becoming rigid or mundane or overwhelming. I love that I can do this, but I'm not happy here.
I love the freedom, but I don't love the disappointments that come from that.
A new understanding is sifting its way into my mind about experiencing as a being, about finding ourselves and losing ourselves and having to get a grip on ourselves to find our ways back again.
My mind is part of a much bigger network of minds, which is part of a much bigger network of worlds of minds. We are layered together, incognizant that we aren't alone, a deep dive into a dark abyss by many individuals to see if we can find each other and learn to love each other even in the dark.
Some of us are realizing what is real and what is junk, what is purpose and what is distraction corrupting our purpose.
Could I really be learning this all from a game?
I was getting so chill that the frustration started melting away. Playing for the sake of just doing stuff, whatever I wanted, was finally becoming fulfilling somehow.
Hilariously, I got bot swarmed in real life, and spent two weeks feeling very ill. The cool thing about brain germs is the weird new thoughts you get.
It got pretty rough.
I stayed busy through it all, though.
Get it? Like waking up to a cat in your face.
You guessed it, I kept starting singleplayer worlds, but I felt closer to my goal, whatever that was. Something about finding myself or something.
I felt like I wasted too much time on this one, but I got it out of my system. It hit me maybe that's what we're doing with our lives through eternity.
And then my entire spring just went gestalt on me. The more I suffered in real life, the easier it was to see where I was going in my head. Funny how that works.
I began realizing I wanted to change the cycle I kept repeating.
Maybe it was time to think bigger. Maybe it was time to be responsible for something more than just beating survival.
And after that I stopped...
And thought about stuff...
