-Mobile continuation from Xanga blog PinkyGuerrero at PinkyGuerrero, Pinky, this blog is Janika, ongoing continuation at blogs Basically Clueless & PinkFeldspar, in that order.
-Most of the graphics and vids click to sources.
-Personal blog for Janika Banks.
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Sunday, December 2, 2018

reconcile- to make compatible, consistent, harmonious- the opposite of faceplant, basically

My tumblr is now gone. I've been combing through facebook some more, deleting tons of junk I probably never would have looked at again. Facebook is the ultimate pile on the desk of our lives if you think about it. You wouldn't believe how many things that we share go blank as some of the pages go dormant. It's weird going back through a month here or there a few years ago and seeing a whole stream of empty post shares.

This, interestingly, now redirects to a Victoria's Secret page. It was originally one of those comprehensive test sites that help people determine where they are with behavioral or memory issues, so it was a bit shocking to see it redirect to nearly nude women in a full pizzaz soft porn way that got this particular older share flagged for content, and I never got a notification about it. You guys might wanna comb through your facebooks.

This share was just last April, and it's already gone.

That link still works but it goes to this. That blog post sat there for over 6 1/2 years before it was removed, because 2018 is the year freedom of speech was suddenly yanked away and hosts slit their own wrists taking huge stock market and ad cuts shutting down opinion and research calling it hate speech.

Just wanna go on record that I was sharing this stuff years before it became fashionable. Since I'm deleting my facebook chunk by chunk, I'll link it directly to youtube. His name is a household word now, thanks to David Wilcock.

As I go through my past collecting a few personal pics and tossing loads of impersonal shares into the bin, I'm realizing how not me most of that was. I remember wondering a few times in the past why someone would refer to me as this or tag me for that and now I'm seeing it all rolling out and going ohhhh... I shared things I thought funny or thought provoking for some reason, and they got associated with my personality. I can look back on my Pinky blog and Pond of Death struggles now understanding where things went awry and amiss. I didn't put myself first. I stepped aside and allowed other people to sort of corral me into mind games I didn't realize I was part of, and then when I was myself and things got awkward several times, I wound up owning it, even though I couldn't reconcile it. It was hard and lonely work, but the really deep spiritual stuff is, isn't it?

I can literally sift the direction my entire last 5 to 6 years of public history stream going the direction it did down to one key person, and no one that knows me right now would even have a clue. It was the most innocent of happenstances, but I've been back paddling ever since. After that one particular day, everything I have tried to do has been misdirected profusely by a string of connected people and things that derailed me almost continually in one way or another. And the derailing is what I have always owned personally. I should have gone with my gut, but I was trained from childhood to let others go first, and so I set the path of my own frustration. Since I have come around the long way and learned ever so much during years of chaos both online and off, I feel my perspective has multidimensionally deepened and broadened considerably, so who knows, maybe I am the better for it. It's hard to say. I look back at 6 years ago and see my one dimensional perspective struggling to open up to multilayered thinking, and it turns out I am fairly adept now at juggling eggs and chainsaws.

And time keeps racing by. Or does it...